Five Parrots Were Removed From A Wildlife Park For, Um, Calling People “Fat Tarts”
Settle in folks, this is the best thing you’re going to hear today. Hell, it might even be the best news story you hear all year. Five African grey parrots in a British wildlife park had to be removed because they wouldn’t stop swearing at visitors.
I. Cannot. Stop. Laughing.
Speaking to CNN, Lincolnshire Wildlife Park‘s chief executive Steve Nichols explained “it just went ballistic, they were all swearing…We were a little concerned about the children”.
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“They literally, within a very short period of time, starting swearing at each other,” he continued. “‘Fuck off’ is the most common one, it’s a very easy one for them to learn”. Apparently the birds swearing vocabulary was much broader than that, with the parrots uttering “anything you can think of”.
“I get called a fat tart every time I walk passed,” Steve shared. Fat tart. From a parrot. Please let that sink in.
While most visitors apparently found the abrasive language as hilarious as I do, park owners still decided to split them up to save the children’s ears from expletives. Don’t worry though, the parrots are fine. They were just separated and taken out of the public parts of the park in hopes they’ll stop egging each other on.
Apparently it’s not uncommon for the park to take in abandoned birds with a few swears up their sleeves. However with the pandemic, there’s been a surge in donations.
“To take in a swearing parrot isn’t an unusual thing, it’s something that happens probably three or four times a year,” Steve said. “We would normally take in one or two parrots in a fortnight. Today we took in eight”.
Apparently the same park is also home to Chico the singing parrot, who made headlines for his goosebump inducing rendition of Beyoncè’s ‘If I Were A Boy’. Honestly, what is this magical place and can I just go live there?
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My one regret in life is that there seems to be no video footage of Steve getting called a fat tart by a parrot.
(Lead Image: Facebook / Lincolnshire Wildlife Park)
