Flying brings out the worst in people, and no one is more aware of this than flight attendants.
The next time you’re stuck on a flight next to someone who takes their shoes off, spare a thought for the poor flight attendants who have to deal with these kinds of
trash monsters people all day, every day.
It’s not all bad though — sometimes flight attendants are left with killer stories about all the strange things they see passengers do. From drinking games to screaming matches and even joining the Mile High Club, here are some of the weirdest things flight attendants have experienced in the air.
#1 “We’re experiencing some minor turbulence”
“We were flying over the Atlantic with Air India and the plane hit a major air pocket, dropping rapidly. The drinks trolley actually rose a couple of inches off the floor and around three seat rows in front of me I saw this cloud of vomit rise up above the headrests for a few seconds before splashing down as we levelled off.” — OtherLecture5
#2 Even we’ll admit, this is a bit too extreme
“A woman thought she had to put her baby in the overhead compartment. Luckily she was stopped in time.” — HorribleAngel
#3 Shrimp-ly horrific
“Well into the flight, this guy in a nice suit had this liquid pouring onto him from the overhead cabin. The guy screamed out “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!”, and without missing a beat this little old lady with a thick southern accent says “That’s my shrimp!” — poots2
#4 Only the good stuff
“Mid flight he pulls out his laptop and starts watching porn. No trying it hide it at all either. As I’m walking down the aisle I can see it from about 5 rows back. I stop, kneel down and tell him to put it away because everyone can see what he is watching, including children sitting near by. He gets all huffy and says “It’s okay, I’m fast forwarding through all the bad parts.” — falas2010
#5 When you gotta go, you gotta go, unfortunately
“Probably my favourite story is about a gentleman who went into one of the bathrooms to relieve himself. As he flushed, and opened the gooseneck valve to the tank, the plane hit a pocket of dead air and dropped, like 4 metres vertically. Everything in the tank proceeded upwards at the speed of gravity. He was covered. They had to hose him off on the tarmac upon arrival.” — BatMally
#6 Wow, the power of Noodle Girl
“On a flight to Poland there was a girl who tried to seduce one of the cabin crew members so she could get free noodles.” — Styx1992
#7 That’s one way to join the Mile High Club
“A couple had a fight and then the guy got up to go to the bathroom and she followed, fighting. Someone told me they were having sex, though I could hear them screaming and fighting. Then my other flight attendant friend showed me this video on YouTube where someone does it, these people were imitating them.” — _notkk_
#8 I’ll stick to Economy, thanks
“Masturbate. Guy was about 16. First Class cabin, he didn’t move for about nine hours on the flight. We were near landing so I wanted to check up on him, I peek over the top of the cabin and saw the guy going to town.” — BanterWipes
“The only Americans on the plane were playing beer pong with each other from across the aisle.” — LeMattJM
#10 Don’t. Take. Your. Shoes. Off. On. A. Plane
“Not uncommon to see, unfortunately, but thought I’d put it out here for educational purposes. Please, please, please don’t go to the bathroom barefoot. That’s not water on the ground.” — ksorth
#11 Can’t we all just get along?
“So far the worst I’ve had was two guys screaming at each other, arguing about overhead bin space during boarding. We took a delay because of them.” — ScorpioMC3
#12 Why are men?
“A passenger jacked off into the sick bag of the woman seated next to him while she was in the bathroom. She went to put trash in it later and got jizz on her hand. Was NOT impressed.” — Afara111
#13 Where’s the lie?
“My father is a pilot and one time when he was flying to Australia, the champion Australian rugby team was on his flight. They rented out the entirety of First Class, and the moment the flight reached cruising altitude, stripped down to their boxers. Allegedly they were some of the most polite patrons he had seen, but were just mostly naked.” — hubberbubber
*Responses have been edited for style and clarity.
(Lead image: Britney Spears, ‘Toxic’ / YouTube)
Alana is the staff writer on AWOL who thinks the best way to travel is by taking spontaneous detours and stopping at every local bakery to try the cakes. She writes a lot about Australian TV, Big Things, cursed food, and theme parks. You can follow her on Instagram @alana.dotcom. It’s mostly dogs she meets along the way.