While normally I think there’s a lot of fun and power in being single, lockdown has proved to be one exception. Sure, there are Zoom dates, but what about the rest of it?
For Melbourne, it’s been 11 weeks in lockdown, and 11 weeks since their last hookup. So if they’re in need of some D, there’s no judgement here.
While nothing but sex toys can help you with the horny, donut connoisseur Goldeluck’s is helping Melburnians get a little flirty with your ‘semi-intimate’ partner, or whoever the hell you feel like. You can send your lover a big old glazed donut in the shape of a penis, aptly named the “Big Dick Energy” or a pair of juicy boobies, also well named as “Double D”.
You can even add a personalised message, you know, just to make it really special.
Apparently plenty of Melburnians have already shared the D, and their own messages. For our enjoyment, Goldeluck’s spilled the tea and told us some of the best messages so far.
Big Dick Energy messages:
- Do not attempt to insert anywhere but the mouth.
- Sorry I can’t be there to fuck, so I sent you a life size version of my dick for you to eat.
- Take a breath and blow so all of your wishes cum true
Double D messages:
- When will you get a girlfriend???? Love Nan
- Giving birth during COVID? Thoughts and prayers for your boobs
- Stage 4 definitely isn’t the tits, but just remember the breast is yet to come!
I personally hope someone’s actual Nan used the donuts as a not so subtle dig.
Look I don’t know about you, but really all I want right now is a donut. Hard to confirm if it’s the shape, or just my sweet tooth.
Melbourne folks can order their anatomy-shaped donuts for same day delivery (as long as you get your order in before 2pm). Head here to place an order and fill someone’s day with delight.
(Lead Image: Instagram / @goldelucksdoughnuts)
Kassia is the Editor of AWOL, and a straight-up travel addict. She was born without a sense of direction, yet an intense desire to explore the world. As such, she's lost 90% of the time but she's learned to roll with it. You can catch her latest adventures on Instagram @probably_kassia.