Erm, Apparently The Blue Mountains Had A Mysterious Giant Rock Penis, And Now It’s Titties

I’ve lived within two hours-drive or less of Sydney for the majority of my life, and a trip to the Blue Mountains has been a treat ever since primary school. As I got older and started hiking, I’ve tackled many of the beauties that wind through BM — but never, NEVER, did I realise there was a giant penis shaped out of rock in the area.

I’ve discovered this just in time for it not to be shaped like a penis anymore, but instead as a giant pair of boobs.

So the mystery goes, local man Michael Connolly discovered the penis cairn in September 2019. Well, ‘discovered’ is what We Are Explorers reported, ‘set it up and then pretended to find it’ is what my spidey senses say, but I’m obviously making wild accusations here.

According to Michael, he was “researching trails to walk using the high definition mapping site, Six Maps, and was zooming in on ridgelines to see where tracks lead. That’s when I spotted it – it stuck out like the proverbial”.

He then took a 2.5km walk from where the national park gate is, without having any real track to get there and having to use a topographic map and dead reckoning to find his way — something that thoroughly impresses me as a person with zero sense of direction.

Do we have any idea who did it, or how long it had been there? Nope, but we do know it no longer exists, and we know it no longer exists because a pair of boobs sits there instead.

 

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A post shared by We Are Explorers (@we_are_explorers)

Sharing a post to their Instagram page, We Are Explorers showed the newest photos of the area, sent to them by Instagram user @traveling.hungry.mal.

“That’s right,” the post says, “We’ve got the scoop of the year. Forget pictures of Spiderman, this is the real shit. The famous Blue Mountains Penis Cairn has been vandalised”.

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Apparently, @traveling.hungry.mal went out to find the “big rock cock” himself, but instead “was met by a pair of ridiculously round boobies”. It seems the penis cairn outline was still visible, so it’s a recent change. Once again, the people behind this new rock formation are unknown, but there are some theories.

“…We can only assume [the attack] was carried out by a radical and highly organised group of hikey feminists”. Personally, I’m here for it. More power to you ladies.

Of course, there’s also a Reddit thread blaming aliens, but Reddit will be Reddit.

Well, except for the fact that We Are Explorers keep pointing out that no-one should really be moving rocks on their hikes — just leave nature along team.

“It’s worth noting, like we did the first time we talked about this cairn, that moving rocks in the bush is generally poor form. Lil [sic] lizards and spiders and snarks and grumkins use them as habitat. Think Leave No Trace out there. Do your best not to build any phallic symbols, monolithic, 2-dimensional or otherwise”.

(Lead Image: Instagram / @we_are_explorers)

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