Adam Driver is a very big boy. Very big and very, very hot, especially as Kylo Ren in Star Wars. In this essay I will…
The Rise of Skywalker came out today, the conclusion to the epic Skywalker saga that’s spanned 42 years and nine movies. Whether you love or hate it, we can all agree that the movie is a massive send off to the story. But not as massive as Adam Driver’s shoulders.
Shirtless Kylo Ren, the last jedi (hi-res) pic.twitter.com/VpH4vMlT2J
— Star Wars Legacy (@starwarsIegacy) January 8, 2018
His role as the sweet, evil, emo Sith boy Kylo Ren was full of wavy hair, hot rage and puppy dog eyes. Adam Driver made us care about this sci-fi baddie, even when he killed Harrison Ford and destroyed entire planets.
He also made us all extremely horny, and if you’re also looking for a productive way to channel your feelings after seeing Adam Driver in The Rise of Skywalker, then please direct your attention to The Empire Strips Back.
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The Star Wars burlesque show has done the rounds in Australia a few times, and it’s coming back in January, 2020. Kicking off in Canberra on January 31, followed by shows in Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney and Newcastle, the show is a glorious celebration of all that is horny in Star Wars.
Devastatingly, the show’s trailer doesn’t seem to include Kylo Ren. But it does promise a sexy Darth Vader, a dangerously seductive Boba Fett (making things even hotter with pyrotechnics), tantalising Twi’leks, a confusingly busty C-3PO and what sure does look like a rapping Han Solo.
And, of course, Slave Leia makes an appearance.
You can get tickets for The Empire Strips Back here, and just for good measure, here are some gifs of Kylo Ren.
(Lead image: Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
Alana is the staff writer on AWOL who thinks the best way to travel is by taking spontaneous detours and stopping at every local bakery to try the cakes. She writes a lot about Australian TV, Big Things, cursed food, and theme parks. You can follow her on Instagram @alana.dotcom. It’s mostly dogs she meets along the way.