All My Friends Are In Europe. My Revenge Will Come This Summer
I’ve been avoiding Instagram. I’ve shunned Snapchat. TikTok can TikOff (that one was a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture).
Why? Because everyone is in Europe right now and they’re constantly rubbing it in my face on their various social media platforms. I took a walk through the Sydney CBD last week and was stunned to find people actually there, because if my social feed is any indication, the streets of Sydney should be completely empty.
But you know what? This summer, I’ll be getting my revenge. That’s right. I’m planning to have an amazing holiday of my own – in the US. Here’s how.
1. I’ll have an extra six months of savings backing me up.
Take that, couch-surfing friends enjoying the beautiful European summer while I try as hard as I can to get a contact high from your glass-of-French-wine clinking boomerangs. While you’ve spent all your hard-earned cash on Napoli pizza and concertos in Vienna, I’m cancelling my subscriptions and quitting my morning coffee, all in service of living the high life for all of January. I’ve already picked out four Michelin starred restaurants to wine and dine in.
2. I’m Booking Early.
As in, I’ve already managed to book a whole bunch of luxury accommodation, from top floor Las Vegas suites to a mountain-top Yosemite mansion that I’m almost certain was featured in Succession. My partner’s main rule here is “king size beds only”, and while it hasn’t been cheap, getting in early allowed us to save a heap of money that we can then use to eat like royalty.
3. I’ll Avoid All The Tourists (Even Though I’m One Of Them)
This Aussie summer, my partner and I are heading off to the west coast of America, and even though it’ll be winter, the place is still pretty damn pleasant. The main draw? We’ll have the place to ourselves. No tourists. Or, at least, fewer tourists. So while my close friends are all crammed into Europe during the high season, my January holiday is going to be extremely chill. Excellent.
4. I Won’t Forget The Important Things… Like Travel Insurance.
True story: I used to be in a touring band. Part of being in just such a band meant we were travelling with a tonne of instruments, which meant travel insurance was an absolute must. We learned this the hard way – the one time we rushed things and forgot to grab travel insurance was the time our Italian bus driver decided to completely disappear in the middle of the night with a bus full of guitars, keyboards and drums. You know, the essentials. Read this travel insurance FAQ if you want to learn more.
5. Schadenfreude. (Oh my god I just spelled that correctly, first try!)
Look, I really do love my European-summer-enjoying friends. They’re lovely people, and they’re having a wonderful time. But I’m not going to lie. While I’m cruising up the California coast from Los Angeles to San Francisco, I’ll be thinking of my friends, forced to work an extra summer job to make up the rent money they used on an extra week in Paris. And I’ll smile. Because that’s just how petty I am sometimes
Image Credit: Unsplash – Lala Miklós
