18 Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up The Chaos Of Road Trips
Alana is the staff writer on AWOL who thinks the…
An epic road trip is one of the great fantasies of travel, but sometimes they don’t go to plan.
The dream — winding roads, killer playlists and a new sight around every corner — never quite stacks up to the reality of traffic, boring stretches of road and passengers who need to pee every 5 minutes.
Luckily, there’s lots of time for passengers to take to Twitter during a long road trip. No jokes are quite as good as the ones we make when we’re stuck in a metal box with five hours to go before we can eat again.
Here are the funniest tweets about going on a road trip:
#1
If pop culture’s taught me one thing it’s that a road trip is meaningless unless someone brings along an urn filled with ashes.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) July 6, 2019
#2
Road trip rules
1) I control the radio while I’m driving
2) I control the radio while you’re driving— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 21, 2016
#3
Going on a road trip is basically the art of finding a place to buy coffee followed by finding a place to pee in a loop forever.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) May 7, 2018
#4
Mumford and Sons: because the “beginning of road trip” scenes in movies need music
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) May 24, 2015
#5
I can’t tell if you’re my soulmate until I know what snacks you bring for a road trip.
— ℳ (@Love_bug1016) September 22, 2019
#6
When can we stop and eat?
-me, 10 minutes into an eight-hour road trip
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 13, 2017
#7
Road trip through the mountains reminds me how lovely thWHAT THE HECK IS 2G SIGNAL???!!! HOWISTHATEVENATHINGANYMOREWTF
— Marl (@Marlebean) June 20, 2017
#8
IMPRESSION OF A ROAD TRIP:
min 7 – WE ARE ALL BESHST FRANDZZZ
min 52 – i wonder if i could roll out of a moving car
min 111 – who killed jfk— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 2, 2016
#9
i have never gone on a road trip without peeing in a plastic cup at some point it’s inevitable
— emma (@emmachamberlain) April 11, 2019
#10
Headed out on a road trip with my husband so if I’m never heard from again he probably got us lost because he “doesn’t need directions.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 27, 2019
#11
Me, to my kids: Fast food is disgusting and unhealthy. We don’t eat that junk.
Me, to my kids, five hours into a road trip: YOU’D BETTER EAT THOSE MCNUGGETS BEFORE I COME BACK THERE AND PUKE THEM INTO YOUR MOUTHS LIKE A MAMA BIRD!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 29, 2018
#12
Road trips are great until your butt falls asleep and starts screaming at you to fix it.
— Garrett Jacobs (@garrett_jacobs_) May 16, 2018
#13
When you’re driving and someone starts messing with your radio… pic.twitter.com/DsZrK48EgD
— Crap Taxidermy (@CrapTaxidermy) August 5, 2014
#14
{Road trip hour 12 ½}
Husband singing along to the radio: “🎵This is what it it sounds like,
when dogs cry.🎵
Man, George Micheal is great.”Me: “We should get a divorce.”
— Marl (@Marlebean) July 5, 2018
#15
Traveling with kids. For people who want to travel, but don’t want to be happy.
— Minivan (@my_minivan_life) October 12, 2013
#16
The first 30 minutes of any road trip is spent mentally cataloging everything you forgot to pack.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) June 27, 2018
#17
When I see someone driving the same car I’m driving, I always peer in to make sure it’s not me from another dimension.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) April 13, 2011
#18
Road trip mixtape. Girl from Ipanema and Waze on same phone: “ That when she passes, each one she passes goes TURN RIGHT IN 100 FEET!
— John Dickerson (@jdickerson) November 21, 2018
Alana is the staff writer on AWOL who thinks the best way to travel is by taking spontaneous detours and stopping at every local bakery to try the cakes. She writes a lot about Australian TV, Big Things, cursed food, and theme parks. You can follow her on Instagram @alana.dotcom. It’s mostly dogs she meets along the way.