What Your Go-To Plane Food Says About You
On the long list of terrible things that come with air travel, people rocking bare feet ranks at the very top. The food situation, however, comes in at a spicy second. Plane food is, at its best, questionable. And what you choose to, er, indulge in, says more about you than what you may have originally thought.
Prepared to be read for filth? Here’s what your go-to choice in plane food says about you.
Bringing a tuna fish sub on this flight was a good idea. Everyone is looking at me like they should have thought of that.
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) August 15, 2019
Fish
Either you simply don’t love yourself as much or you could, or enjoy throwing the dice in this little thing we call life.
You’re the kind of friend to send a pic to the group chat of a clearly un-cooked chicken breast and ask, “reckon this is cool to eat?”
Most likely to: give zero f*cks.
Sandwiches (packed from home)
We have no choice but to stan a frugal queen, but you could also be doing way less.
On one hand, you’re the mum friend who always has snacks in their bag to share, but on the other hand they’re probably some kind of shitty out-of-date nut bar that nobody really wants.
Most likely to: be a ride-or-die friend.
Bacon and eggs
[related_articles]79559,81804[/related_articles]Waking up from a broken sleep in economy to a 6am breakfast service is nightmarish enough. Chuck in the fact that you’re alive in a world where mile-high bacon and eggs exist, you may even consider reaching for the emergency exit lever.
An overreaction? Maybe. An utter disgrace to beloved foods bacon and eggs? Absolutely.
You either made an innocent mistake and are about to feel big regret, or just made a conscious decision which can only mean you’re a massive gronk.
Most likely to: throw hands with me. I will die on this hill.
Bloody Mary
So, you read somewhere on the internet that a Bloody Mary is meant to taste better in the sky because sweetness is supposedly suppressed on a jetliner or whatever.
You also forgot that you don’t even like Bloody Marys that much.
Most likely to: ask the flight attendant for a little bottle of Savvy-B instead. It’s what you deserve.
The lady that sat beside me on this flight ate my lunch. Her reason “you were asleep and I didn’t want the food to get cold and go bad.” Her courage is amazing. I’m still in awe.
— CLSTN. (@cyberomin) December 10, 2018
Red wine
You know that, while plane food is trash, there’s one in-flight offering that never fails to disappoint — alcohol.
You’re also the kind of seatmate to strike up a conversation with your neighbour in a totally non-creepy, fun way and for that, we’re eternally grateful.
Most likely to: fall asleep mid-way through the in-flight safety demonstration.
The vego option
[related_articles]81962,81833[/related_articles]This is not your first rodeo.
You trust no bitch and know that if you’re going to eat on this flight, there’s no way in hell you’re trying to get sick.
Most likely to: win a Nobel Peace Prize.
Cheese and crackers
You know what’s up.
Knowing you as a person holds absolutely no surprises — you’re either matter of factly a total bitch or the nicest person anyone will ever meet, and you live by that.
Most likely to: be pairing your meal with a bevy (read: red wine, obviously).
Bon appetite and clink clink!
